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Going Solo vs. Being Single

Writing the last post showed me some important distinctions between Going Solo, which is a new concept for me, and Being Single, which is how I've always thought of a non-married life. 

But when I explored the ways that a Soloista could enjoy many of the riches of a married life, I saw that much of it required a deliberate decision to lead life a certain way. That is not to say that the riches of a married life follow naturally from the wedding ceremony. But the important thing that happens during that wedding ceremony (and throughout the courtship, engagement, and pre-wedding period) is a purposeful deliberation where the couple makes plans--usually informally, but in some cases formally--for how they will lead their lives together. 

For many, marriage is a gateway to adulthood, and passing through it carries a sense of purpose. Similarly, many people feel that they needn't figure out their lives when they are single. This is often seen as a time for enjoyment and experimentation. And sometimes the quest to find a special partner is the driving purpose. 

Whatever the reasons, I can see why it is common for marriage to mark the time when living with purpose begins in earnest. 

For me, this is the reason that Going Solo is more meaningful than Being Single. Going Solo seems like a decision, a turning point, a commitment to a deliberate kind of life, a determination to pursue a set of goals that will bring life into accord with our values. Being Single is just being, it feels like a kind of drifting. Even if you plan to be single forever, the phrase Going Solo implies a journey, a destination, even an adventure. 

And in the end, I think this is what leads to a purposeful examination of life and values and a determination to create a life that is rich in the expression of these values. 

I know that this is at the heart of my plan. At the heart of my plan and my blog and my life. I'm looking forward to mapping out the rich paths in my Soloista journey. 

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